On Thursday, April 31st, representatives from the Mercer County division of NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) came to speak to the middle and upper school. With May being Mental Health Awareness Month, the representatives shared many ways to deal with and cope with feelings of stress, anxiety, and depression. The coping mechanism that resonated the most with Betsy Murphy and me, Marlie Conway, was the gratitude/gratefulness journal.
The next day, while sitting in the upper school office and talking to the delightful Ms. Brescia about how stressful our lives are at the moment, with the AP test starting on the following Monday and the end of the trimester in the near distance, we took a moment to reflect on the positives in our lives. We talked about small things we were grateful for. “Being able to take a morning and night shower,” I shared. Betsy said she was grateful for “Stuart lacrosse”. Ms. Brescia, as usual, said something beautifully insightful that reminded us of how wonderful the small things in life are. In response, Betsy wrote our gratitude on a small notepad and pinned it to the wall. For about the next 45 minutes, Betsy asked every person who entered the upper school office what they were grateful for that day, wrote it down, and pinned it to the wall.
For Betsy, identifying and writing down what she is grateful for has been a family tradition for a very long time. Her mom, Charlotte, first bought a gratitude journal in October 2013. The very first page is marked as October 2, 2013, and it starts with her sisters Lilly and Katie, then her mom, and then Betsy listing one thing they are all grateful for. Entries are sometimes very short and simple, like Betsy’s very first entry, where she stated that she is grateful for “drawing a rainbow outside at school.” While some entries are more meaningful, like when her mom wrote, “ I am grateful for being surrounded by so much love and so much beauty, thankful for my 4 children- there is no greater gift.” As you flip through the journal, it is a time capsule of sorts for her family, capturing little “wins” alongside big life moments, like moving to New Jersey. Funny enough, Betsy and her sisters’ very first week at Stuart is recognized. On September 14, 2014, her mom wrote that she is grateful for her “Wonderful introduction to Stuart and all the kind people [she] met that have welcomed [her].” During COVID, her mom made it a point to really center in on gratitude during such a complex time. Betsy shared that at the end of each week, she and her sisters had to present their mom with a list of 6 things they were grateful for and 4 things they did to show gratitude to others. With all this practice, gratitude has become a normal practice in Betsy’s life and something she wants to pass on to others.
After further reflection on Betsy’s gratitude list, we wanted to find a way to give the community a space to acknowledge what they are grateful for, especially during these stressful last few weeks of school. Together, we decided on a bulletin board in the Upper School Resource Center. Right away, we got to work and, after looking at Pinterest for inspiration, started to create a gratitude garden. After selecting a green background, we cut out the stems, tulip petals, and sunflowers. Throughout the next few journalism classes, we stapled the border, added flowers, and added instructions! After completing the board, Betsy announced our project to the upper school during Thursday’s morning meeting. Since then, people have been adding to the petals, and the board has proven to be a success!
